wifesuspiciousQ. My wife thinks I am cheating on her, and won't stop accusing me of staring at other women. I have never been that kind of guy and I've always been faithful to her, but because she once was married to a cheater, she's convinced I'm one too. How can I change her mind?

A. There are ways you can help alleviate her fears by being extra careful where you look and how you act in front of other women. Don't allow yourself to have friends among other women that you speak to privately, text or email. All women you have to be in contact with should be strictly on a business only basis. When you leave the house, always let her know where you're going and around what time you plan to be back, and call her while you're there if you can. Allow her to see the phone calls you make, the emails you send out and receive, and with your transparency, she'll have nothing to base her suspicions on.

That being said, she also does need some care in getting emotional freedom from the traumatic experience she had in her past. She is projecting her former marriage onto you, and if she doesn't learn to see you for who you are and begin trusting you, no amount of reassuring will work. She doesn't realize that in her desire to hold onto this marriage, she is harming it with her accusations. Encourage her to come to get some one on one counseling as soon as you can.

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