Darlings, today I want to talk about something that many confuse its true meaning, which is the heart.

Many people think that the heart is their best friend and so, they prefer to always follow “the voice of the heart”!

Our heart is not our friend, quite the contrary. He deceives us, makes us feel things we should not feel, and convinces us of big lies as if they were truths. Especially when it comes to our love life.

It is very revolting to see so many women today who are bitter and with their lives destroyed, precisely because they listened to the famous “voice of the heart.”

These are the kinds of lies that their heart tells them about their love life:

“He is who I want, he will change after marriage.”

“He is not of God, but you can help him to convert.”

“It’s taking too long, you want to love and be loved. This seems like a good guy. He lied, cheated on you, does not give you value, but you love him. Stay with him!”

“Not good with him, but worse without him. I want him!”

Well, the heart is a wolf in sheepskin. It can only bear good fruit when dominated by an intelligent faith.

Reaping the fruits of an intelligent faith will do much good for the heart, but like a spoiled child who does not understand danger, it wants everything here and now.

Let us tame our hearts and not let it dominate our lives, let us act with the intelligent faith!

A big kiss,

Nanda

 

 

 

Someone asked me this question the other day, and I immediately thought of Samson, who had incredible physical strength because of his long hair—a sign of the covenant God made ​​with his fathers. Although my strength is not in something physical, it’s in one specific thing that, if touched, I immediately feel weak… my faith.

Many things happen on a daily basis to affect just that. Things that make us cry, feel sad, doubt, fear, feel anxious, hate, judge, slander, etc. Every kind of emotion neutralizes our faith—and once our faith is neutralized, we become vulnerable to all sorts of problems, even the little ones!

This is why I sometimes get a little radical with certain things in my life: I let go of them; I place them on the altar and move on. I know myself. I know how it is: you start thinking, remembering, and suddenly, you’re feeling miserable…

And you know what? When we are in faith, we are wise! We take action based on common sense and not on the feelings of the heart. I like this Bible verse:

“A wise man is strong.” Proverbs 24:5 

Do you want to be strong? Be wise. Invest in your spiritual strength and not in your emotions.

- Cristiane Cardoso 

 

Do you know what the biggest instigators of problems between couples, parents and children, sisters, and friends are? Comparisons!

There are two types of comparisons.

The first one is the comparison with others, such as: “Why are you not more like so and so, who is so polite and organized?”

And the second one is when you compare yourself with another person who does not think as we do: “You think in this way, but I think that it has nothing to do with it at all!”

When we analyze the comparisons, there really is nothing more unfair on the face of the earth. If only we were like those games of seven mistakes that are a copy of each other with some minor changes, then, okay! But in reality, who can be a copy of who, when not even twins are the same?

And the worst thing is that many people are reading this and fully agree with everything we are saying here, but just agreeing does not change anything—unfortunately. We need to understand why we are doing it and change this attitude.

Start changing your expectations regarding your husband. If you compare him with someone else, then that’s it! If only because your father has always been a certain way or just because the heartthrob in the soap opera speaks to his “beloved” in a certain way, or because the husband of your best friend is in this way, you want your husband to treat you in the same way, you are being unfair to him. He is not your father, he’s not the heartthrob in the soap opera and he’s not the husband of your best friend. He is the heartthrob that chose to spend the rest of his life at your side. Why can’t you look at him and stop looking at others?

And how about your expectations of your children? There is plenty to talk about with this one! I know this because I am a mother and I know how easy it is to compare our children with the children of others. We point out their errors by showing the successes of others, as if this attitude would really help—we wish! The more you compare your child with yourself when you were their age or with their “perfect cousin”, the worse it gets, did you know that? It’s no use! It’s as if you were showing him or her how “not” to be, oddly enough! Love your children the way they are and teach them to be better without any comparisons.

Friends are also victims too, poor things! In fact, everyone who is part of a group, be it family, classroom, staff, friends, assistants, pastors’ wives, etc., is always encouraged to not only compare other people but also to compare themselves with others—which, in my opinion, spoils any relationship.

When you compare yourself with other people, two things usually happen: either you feel inferior or superior.

It’s like a husband that we counseled recently, who insisted that he did not see things in the same way as his wife. Okay, so what? You are not her! As long as he insists on making her see everything as he does, the problem will not be solved, and worse still, she will feel less and less understood each time.

Not to mention how many people debase themselves in front of others just because of these same comparisons they make about themselves: “I do not speak as well as the other one, I prefer not to raise my hand and give my opinion… I’m not as pretty as so-and-so; there is no point in me wearing that dress… I’m not experienced like her, so who will listen to me?”

And when you feel that you are “inferior” to someone else, you automatically do not see them as a friend, but as a competitor. But who said we are in a competition, anyway?

Stop it! Stop comparing yourself, stop listening to other people’s comparisons, and don’t allow yourself to compare others. We will never be the same as other people—so just accept it!

We don’t always know when we annul ourselves. At least in my case, I simply thought I was being the ideal wife.

The more I perfected myself as a wife, the further I got from the person I was… and that’s how you start the process of annulling yourself. Every time you stop being you, you’re not giving yourself the value that’s due, and at the same time, you value what’s not you.

That’s why so many women never feel complete. I remember a time when I felt so devalued that I would go to the mall looking for clothes that could in some way value me. I would get a new haircut, change my hair color… I had come to the conclusion that since my actions didn’t give me value, then perhaps the way I looked could work a miracle… yeah right!

I was like this for 12 years. Being the “perfect” wife who was totally annulled. This led to various other problems, beyond insecurity and jealousy. When you’re not who you are, you live by what others expect you to be… a slave to people’s opinions. And you know what’s worse? You begin to allow people to annul you too, after all, you don’t have your own opinion.

I only changed when I began to believe in my value and to develop my potential. Believing in yourself is not enough, you need to show that belief through actions. That’s what I did, and I will never let anyone annul me again, especially myself.

Cristiane Cardoso

It’s no use complaining about not having a true friend if you don’t know how to be one. But what does it mean to be a true friend? It’s extremely important that you understand what being a friend means before you can become one.

There are many ways to differentiate a true friend from an acquaintance, but I think we can summarize it in one sentence:

A true friend only does you good.

The same cannot be said of acquaintances. They might do you good once in a while, but not all the time. This means that if you don’t do your friends good all the time, you’re probably a mere acquaintance. Harsh words, aren’t they? Well, this is a reality that many do not want to face. They like the idea of ​​having friends and they even consider themselves friends, but look at their attitude when push comes to shove:

•They gossip
•They cause dissension among friends
•They’re envious
•They criticize
•They speak evil of others
•They take pleasure in other people’s misfortune
•They don’t like to see others succeed
•They’re incapable of complimenting others
•They’re selfish
•They’re not understanding
•The Lord Jesus is a true Friend, and if we understand how He deals with us, we’ll learn how to be true friends. See if He’s done anything from the list above to anyone.

My true friends do me good. They pray for me, they teach me, sometimes they tell me off, they praise me, and they love to make me happy. How nice to have them in our lives! Time flies when we’re together…

Acquaintances, on the other hand, are completely indifferent to what happens to me. They don’t care if I need to learn and they don’t compliment me on anything—on the contrary, they often criticize me. Acquaintances can be unpleasant sometimes. It’s only because we have manners and want to bear good testimony that we can stand being around them.

A good sign that someone considers you a true friend is when she trusts you to the point of opening up to you. If you are a true friend, will not hold that against her; rather, you will help her, and by doing this you will strengthen your friendship. But if you open up to her and she does not open up to you, it’s because she does not consider you a friend yet—so do not judge her, but work to gain her trust.

Cristiane Cardoso

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