Nowadays women are so concerned about becoming independent that they forget to become admirable women. In search of achievement, many become grumpy, irritable, impatient and even impolite.

There is nothing wrong with being an independent woman, but you can be admirable too! Here are three tips I learned from my mother (who I admire a lot!):

  1. Put yourself in the place of others and do to them what you would like them to do unto you. I remember when a new pastor and his wife arrived in the country where we were working and at the moment stayed at our house. They were exhausted from the trip, the move and the time difference. Less than an hour from their arrival, my mother (who was also visiting us at the time) offered to help the pastor’s wife iron her husband’s shirts. The young woman was obviously too shy to accept her offer but my mother insisted, took the ironing board and iron and asked her to bring some of her husband’s shirts because she was going to iron shirts for him to use that week. I remember thinking “my mom is the best!”.
  2. Always be a giver. One of my mother’s habits, which is very nice for those who know her personally, is to show her gratitude with a gift. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every time I go shopping with my mother, she buys something for someone. It can be something like: I’m going to visit her next week, I want to give her a good pair of shoes, as well as: She’s so good to us, I want to give her something, or even: It’s so and so’s  birthday next week. And to top it off, she doesn’t keep a calendar with anyone’s birthday, it’s all in her memory! How do you do that mom?
  3. Think of others more often. My mother is not the kind of woman you will find in a group. She hardly goes out, that is something greatly appreciated by my father. However, she makes it a point to let people know that she cares about them. A church driver had surgery and I watched my mother ask him how he was feeling, what he was eating and what he could do to minimize the effects post-surgery, I remembered how sometimes we are so focused in our lives that we are blind to see what is really happening around us.

 

You already know where you are failing.

You have hurt enough and can’t take it anymore.

You have decided thousands of times to change; and nothing.

A few days go by and you are back to square one.

Many people in this situation decide to give up, thinking that they are different and that they can’t change. However others continue to persist in changing but time has made them cynical, they blame others, after all, they are doing “everything” to change.

Yes, you can even be doing “everything” and still not be doing what you need to do, did you know that?

All of our wars begin within us, in our heart. Sometimes you want something so badly but the problem is in the intention of your heart: why do you want it? Could it be for a selfish objective?

All that I accomplished in my life up until now has to do with the intentions of my heart.

When I married my first boyfriend, my intention was not to be better than anyone and brag about it, the truth is that I didn’t want to date different guys before getting married — I wanted to preserve myself for my God.

When I chose not to have biological children to have spiritual children, that was a real sacrifice for me. I always dreamed of being a mother, so when we decided not to have biological children to dedicate more time in the work of God, that was very painful and that’s why I made a bold request to God…

Since I will not have children of my own, may the Lord make me a spiritual mother of many daughters and through me, be able to know You!

 

God honored me. I did not ask to be popular, to be known or to be wanted. I asked for spiritual daughters since I was sacrificing biological children to be able to do more for His Work.

Friend, your intentions have everything to do with what you achieve in life.

There are many people selfishly getting what they want and don’t accomplish anything, while there are others who do not get everything they want, yet, they have accomplished everything they want in what they do have…

When your intentions are to honor and glorify God, He honors you.


 

 

Before you feel attacked by this post, first, think about why it was written.

Do I have reasons to attack you or do I genuinely want to help you change?

In any way, here it goes:

  1. You isolate yourself from everything and everyone. Deep down you think no one understands you, that people judge you wrongly and that no one is trustworthy. One of the phrases you like to tell yourself is: I’m better off alone than in bad company. So you avoid being part of groups, being around people, making new friends or even sitting next to others.
  2. You interpret everything that others say and do. Nothing goes unnoticed by you, even if the person did not say anything. If the person greets you strangely that day, you judge her for being strange. If a person passed by you and looked at your necklace, you judge her for envying you. If someone looks at you, you judge them for thinking bad about you. You think that what people talk about always has to do with you. In fact, you must be thinking that I wrote this post thinking of you.
  3. You are extremely radical, it’s all or nothing, totally unbalanced. That’s why you take everything word for word.
  4. Deep down, you find yourself better than other people and that’s why you like to show holiness, but of course, you never speak about it out loud because part of being holy is to show some “humbleness”.
  5. You never decide on anything, you want something different all the time.
  6. You never move from where you are, you don’t grow or develop. You are stuck in time and only you don’t see it.
  7. You live in a drama movie in which you are the victim. You are lonely and proud of it as if being alone gave you a bit of reason to feel like a victim of everything and everyone.
  8. You keep grudges, but disguise it very well, as long as no one touches the subject. You can’t believe what they said or did to you and until this day, you are waiting for “God’s justice”.
  9. You have serious internal problems, but you rather pretend not to see them. You feel jealous of certain people. You are malicious and sees everything with bad eyes. You are proud and won’t accept help from anyone, but in front of others you say, thank you.
  10. You are extremely needy in need of attention all the time, even if it’s only virtual.

 

If you identified with any of the items above, you have the following choices:

  • Hate me even more and leave a comment as anonymous or with a fake name trying to offend me. The result of this is that nothing will change for me or you.
  • Recognize the problem and feel even worse about it, and now assume that not even Cris understands you.
  • Or you revolt against your way of being and fight to change.

If you chose to revolt, start your new life by asking for forgiveness to those who you have hurt this far. This will give you strength to do everything differently from today on …

 

 

If God had a profile on the social networks, how would it be? What would He like? What would He share? Who would be His friends? Who would He follow?

God is holy and spiritual, therefore His profile would have this kind of lifestyle. His social networks would not be to prove who He is but to share who He is, with one objective: to help and inspire.

Those who are from above do the same.

But how to help and inspire others when deep down what you really want is to be accepted? Perhaps social networks have been the only channel of acceptance. However, reality is quite different.

Your family doesn’t understand you, but your online friends understand you and like what you post. They make you feel special, especially when they leave loving comments… so you post more, you are flattered with each new follower, you do not stop checking your social networks every minute of the day… at least the virtual world is not so cruel…

Do you know what your problem is? You need the acceptance of people and this is not good because people can accept you today, and tomorrow they will not accept you… then what? What will become of you? When we depend on others to accept us, we always end up being slaves to do more things for them to accept us.

Today in the Love Therapy, we will be talking about how you can be accepted by the one you love without being a slave.

Yes, everyone wants to be accepted, maybe this is why social networks have been so popular, but it is not good to live depending on them.

This is the year of the Love Therapy, don’t miss out!

In faith.

 

One of the most common desires of a human being is to be independent. Independent of parents, relationships, children and even favors. It’s really frustrating to have to rely on others to get what you want, but we don’t always have the pleasure of being so independent… that’s when irritation kicks in. The thought of having to wait on others and feel like you are in their hands. This is what Renato and I see the most during our counseling at the Love Therapy. People who depend on others who don’t give them anything, they cheat, abuse and ignore them.

But there are many people who depend on others and don’t know it, out of everyone, I think these are the most unhappy. When you don’t know that you depend on others, you don’t do anything to be independent and it makes you stop in time as well as a vulnerable person.

Some examples of dependent people:

  • You never see your mistakes and you need others to call your attention.
  • You can’t stay away from social networks and you always need to know what’s happening there.
  • You depend on other people’s attention to feel good.
  • You check who liked and who didn’t like your posts.
  • You don’t like to be alone and always find an excuse to have someone with you, whether it is to go somewhere or to stay at home.
  • You need to be in a relationship to feel happy.
  • You need compliments to feel good about yourself.
  • You don’t like to take initiatives and are always waiting for someone to take them for you.
  • You are always asking for prayer and advice. Between you and God, there is always someone to intercede for you.
  • You need someone to point which direction to take. You are not firm on your own.
  • You don’t seek to learn new things and depend on others to teach you only when it really becomes a necessity.
  • You don’t read and don’t keep yourself aware of things and so you depend on others who do it for you.
  • You are addicted, whether it is a drug, food, social networks, television, pornography…
  • You depend on friends to exercise or to do a diet.
  • You depend on feeling motivated to do do everything. If things are not in order, you don’t do anything.
  • You depend on the weather outside to feel good. If it is raining, you feel grumpy.
  • You depend on the mood of others to be in a good mood.
  • You only treat well those who treat you well.
  • You depend on being in church to be in spirit.
  • You rely on a pet.

As long as you depend on others, you will never feel good about yourself and will always be with that feeling that you are not the person you should be.

In order to stop being dependent on others, you need to learn to depend on God, only He can give us the ability to do so.

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